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People Who Can Destroy Your Dreams in An Instant!

  • Written by J. Lamar FerrenJ. Lamar Ferren 3 Comments3 Comments Comments
    Last Updated: December 21st, 2007

    This isn’t for everybody, but somebody will feel what I’m saying on this.

    Something motivated me to post a bulletin today about a subject that really pisses me off.

    It’s called Dream Stealers! (Negative People) People who can ruin the dreams and goals you go after, in a heartbeat.

    I’m sure you’ve come across one, or maybe a couple. It’s a shame what people could fit into this category. Who am I referring to, right? Well, sorry to say, but it could be your “closest” friend, your mother, father, brother, sister, spouse, significant other, etc. I’m not saying these people themselves are negative, it’s just that their thought process, can be negative, which in turn, could have an impact on your dreams & goals!

    Just imagine if you had a $Million$ dollar idea, or a goal you’ve been seeking ever since you were young, or even one you just made for yourself. Then you walk up to your Parent(s) or your closest friend, or your spouse/significant other and spill your guts to them about what you want to achieve. Once you’ve finished explaining, what happens next…

    You start getting these common responses…

    • “Yeah ok, keep on dreaming”
    • “It’s too good to be true, let it go”
    • “You’d be better off trying to win the Lottery”
    • “Yeah good luck, Hope it’s not a SCAM”
    • “What makes you think, you can do something like that”
    • “Your too old”
    • “Your too young”
    • “Your not ready for something like that”
    • “Oh Lord, Here we go again. This is like the time when you tried to…”

    orĀ an evenĀ horrible response,

    • “ha ha ha!! LOL”

    They might even throw your past failures in your FACE!

    Then what do you do. You crawl back into your shell and never do whatever it is you want to do. You start questioning your judgement, you might even give up on that goal! Or, you just keep coming back to them, expressing your dream more clearly, hoping that they would change their mind and give you the support you deserve. You throw your dream UP (Swoosh!) …and they just shoot it down! (BOOM!)

    Why do people share their dreams and goals with Dream Stealers? Could it be because they look up to that person, or they’ve always looked to that person as someone they can “count on”.

    Here’s a blunt question about Dream Stealers… Are they speaking to you through failed experience or ignorance?

    Now don’t get mad at me, but I mean really, How can someone give you advice on something they’ve never tried themselves, or never even looked into? Their first time hearing about it may be when you brought it to their attention. Or maybe they are speaking to you through someone else’s failures or even their own. Sad…but true! It’s amazing how some people can run off at the mouth about any topic, but have no idea what they’re talking about. They’d be better off saying, “Well, it sounds like this is something your really passionate about…I don’t know too much about that, but Go for it, I got your back. ” (I think that would be cool, but it doesn’t always go down like that)

    So what do you do?

    I’m not saying to never listen to these Dream Stealers again or to completely cut them off. Obviously, they’re someone of value to you or you wouldn’t have shared your dreams or goals with them.

    My suggestion….Just limit what you share with them. Research your dream or goal, make sure it can be done, and do it! I know you get excited when you have that new idea or you’re ready to start that new business or goal and you want to tell the whole WORLD!! But the time will come.

    Instead, share your thoughts and ideas with people that can relate. People that are doing exactly what you want to do! People who are doing it everyday. See what kind of advice you get then. Get a Coach or a Mentor. Watch how fast you see results. Watch how pumped up you’ll get to start going after that dream or goal of yours. Then you can kick back and tell those Dream Stealers a thing or two. So the next time, someone comes to them for advice, they won’t steal that person’s dream, they’ll just reflect off of your Success! Think about it…

    Your PAST does NOT equal your FUTURE!

    -J.Lamar

    Quick questions for you… and please leave a comment below: What type of people have you came to for advice? Has it worked for you? What lessons have you learned, if any?

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  1. #1 Reggie
    March 12th, 2010 at 10:16 pm

    JLamar,

    That was another good post. Reading that made me think of some instances where I shared some dreams and goals of mine with friends and family only to be laughed at or ridiculed.

    I believe another reason we share our dreams and goals with family and friends is that we want to them validate our dreams and goals as well as share in our excitement.

    Knowing that the people who like or love you also support your dreams, goals and aspirations can do wonders.

    Consequently, I have chosen not to share my present endeavors with anyone besides my wife, who, unlike a time or two in the past, has been supportive and understanding of the need I feel to work for myself. Having her nod of approval has been very empowering for me.

    After I get that first check or two or three, I might let them in on it, especially the ones who are struggling financially right now. Waiting to share something that has the potential to change the lives of the people who need the information makes me feel guilty…but the thought of them ridiculing or laughing at me instantly reminds me of why I have kept my mouth shut.

    [Reply]

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  2. #2 J. Lamar Ferren
    March 13th, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    @Reggie,

    You make a very strong point about the fact that we so passionately share our dreams is because we want other to validate it.

    As you said, the support from close friends and family and have a very empowering impact. Especially from a spouse or significant other.

    Don’t be hesitant to share. Plant the seed and show them how to grow it. They can validate for themselves and if they don’t, then its their loss not yours. lol

    My main point is to share and lead by example. Nobody can’t tell me anything about it not being possible t make money in real estate investing or online marketing, because I’ve already proven it to myself. So when I share my dreams with some one and they try to talk down on them, I just brush it off and say, “It’s not a matter of If for me anymore. It’s a matter of when and how much”.

    [Reply]

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